Brayden Lance Goodson....

has arrived! He was born on Monday August 3, 2009 at 6:57 pm. He weighed 8 lbs & .04 ozs., he was 20.5 inches long & is so beautiful! I will post more later but here are some of his birth pictures.

Can't Sleep....

I have been up since about 1:30am because I am so excited & nervous about Brayden's arrival. We are actually going to be holding our baby boy soon & whether it is from a vaginal delivery or c-section.........HE IS GOING TO FINALLY BE HERE!!! I am very nervous about the actual delivery process but am just trying to think positively & keep my fingers crossed that everything is going to be fine! I will try to post what is going on tomorrow morning...as for today I am going to get my nails & toes done & finish cleaning the house & then we are off to the hospital around 6 tonight!!!

wish us luck & please keep us in your prayers!

Brayden is Posterior or "Sunny Side Up"

& that is why he has not made his appearance yet!! I just got back from the doctor & am in tears of all the things that I was told today.....everything could go fine with my labor & delivery, we could check into the hospital on Sunday to begin with the cervadil or foley to ripen/open my cervix & then labor progresses normally & Brayden arrives as planned. BUT I could check in on Sunday & I go through the whole induction & vaginal labor process only to end up with a c-section. Because Brayden is facing the wrong way & because he has been in the head down ready position for so long I might not be able to get him to turn which means that labor could go 1 of 3 ways....

1. We induce & he turns on his own when labor progresses & everything is good
2. We induce & he doesn't turn but with extra help (vacuum, forceps, extra pushing time & pain) he is still delivered vaginally
3. We induce & because he is facing the wrong way he is not able to descend into the canal so we go through hours of labor & end with a c-section

I am getting ready to go down stairs, get on my ball & do the pelvic exercises that I have been instructed to do to try to get him to turn but how will I know if he has turned?? This sounds stupid but what if I just keep making him turn & turn & turn in there OR what if what the doctor said happens. There are so many what ifs that could happen that I am just scared & I know that Sunday is only 2 days away but the unknowing & uncertainty is going to drive me up the wall. At this point screw my birth plan I just want my son in my arms & healthy!

I feel helpless & lost & can't wait for Sunday night to get here!!

My Bump Post Today....Why Do People Have To Comment Like This??

I put the following post on "The Bump" this morning...it is just a vent of my frustrations.......

Patience is a virtue.....(vent)

says who?? Why give me a 40 week due date if when it comes you are going to let it go by? I know, I know it is not an exact science BUT damn it I am so ready to meet & hold our son & I am so done with being pregnant!! I have had an amazing & wonderful pregnancy so I shouldn't really complain but about 2 weeks ago I started to feel like I had been hit by a car so I am just over it! We will be admitted to the hospital on Monday night to begin softening my cervix & then Tuesday morning (I will be exactly 41 weeks) they will begin the induction!!

Come on little buddy momma doesn't want them to have to use all of those nasty drugs to get to join the outside world, PLEASE for momma come out, come out where ever you are

This is what one person replied.....

... a little selfish. Just saying.

How am I being selfish?? Where the hell do people get off?? I am over my due date & want to hold my son in my arms & not in my belly...how is that selfish? How long should I carry him before it is NOT SO SELFISH for me to want to hold him in my arms?
Is it so horrible for me to voice the fact that I am tired & just want to give birth? I don't know why I let this woman's comment bother me so much but it has!!

This was my reply to her reply:

You are entitled to your opinion but until you are in my shoes on this one keep it to yourself....just saying!!

Still Here & Still Waiting.....

I am OK with it more & more as the time passes (I am trying to convince myself of this, can you tell?). Of course I would prefer that he comes on his own & that we avoid all of those yucky drugs that they will have to use to induce next week....& it could happen, we still have 4.5 days until we go to the hospital Monday night. I am keeping my fingers crossed but trying NOT to get my hopes up. We have an appointment tomorrow to check & see if I have dilated at all; if I have they can at least strip my membranes & see if that gets things going before the weekend gets started. all I can say is we shall see what happens & hopefully God has heard all of my prayers & maybe a miracle will happen!!

We do have a poll going on here at work & my boss did pick today & he has been right on twice before so I am just hoping & praying that he is again this time!!! I am working half a day today & then heading home to rest & relax for whatever that means. I did have a good day off yesterday but I didn't really sit down & relax much; that is a hard thing for me to do. But it was nice to go have lunch with Lance & then got home & did some cooking & baking which was very calming & at least took my mind off of the waiting!!

I am not sure what I will do this afternoon but I do know that I need to clean our floors & clean the bathrooms so I guess after that I will do some scrap booking.....that always puts a smile on my face!!

Taking A Day To Rest & Regroup

I had such a hard time with the no progress news that we got yesterday so I decided that I needed a day to myself....I am at home today & think it is the best think for Brayden & I. I am a workaholic to say the least & the doctor mentioned that I could be working myself to the point of exhaustion between working 12 hour days, the fact that I don't sleep more than 5 hours a night (even before I was pregnant, now that I am I only sleep about 1-2), taking care of the hubby, house & pups, walking twice a day to try & get Brayden to progress & just the fact that my body has created & sustained another human being for the last 40 weeks & 1 day is a lot for one person even me who thinks that she can do it all. In case you couldn't tell I am a planner, the organizer of life the woman that has to make sure that everything happens just the way it is supposed too & last night I had to take a deep breath & realize that this is one thing that I don't get to control or plan out perfectly.

Our amazing boy is going to enter the world when he & God say it is time NOT mommy & daddy. Brayden is going to live his life to the fullest & we are just going to be able to watch him grow & lead him down the right paths.....what happens down those paths is going to be wonderful & life changing I am sure but we have to realize that WE CAN'T CONTROL EVERYTHING! Brayden is going to have his own personality & way bout him & we are just going to have to sit back & enjoy the ride! I can't wait to be a mom & see my son grow into he chooses to be; it is going to be an amazing journey & Lance & I are truly blessed!!

I do want to point one thing out though.....I was born exactly on my due date so from the beginning I was a control freak & so I don't think I can be blamed for wanting Brayden to be punctual like his momma! Lance on the other hand was 2 weeks late & didn't want to leave his mothers womb either & all I can say about that is if Brayden loves me the way that Lance loves his mother than I have a great future ahead of me with my son!!!

40 Weeks & No Progress.

Just got back from our doctor's appointment & I am still not dilated.....NOT AT ALL!! They did an ultrasound & hooked me up to the monitor for a bit & Brayden is doing awesome & he is a healthy little boy so that is great, amazing, wonderful; so why do I feel so sad & upset?? It is so very hard to describe how I am feeling at this very moment; I am of course with out a doubt happy that our son is VERY healthy & thriving in my belly but I am so tired & ready to have him in my arms that I started to cry when there was nothing . I don't think I would say that I am disappointed but in a way I am; I have an appointment on Friday to check & see how things are going & then if still nothing I am scheduled to go to the hospital on Monday night to begin ripening my cervix & then start pitocin on Tuesday morning. All along I have known that things could change & my birth plan was just that a plan not a given....just like your due date is a guesstimation BUT I mean really why give it if it means you can go to 41 or 42...just give me the damn 42 week date & tell me that is the day..........

I am done complaining; Brayden is healthy & there is still a chance he could come before the induction date so maybe my birth plan will still hold true. All we can do is wait right????

40 Weeks Today......

So we have to wait until 10:40 to see if there is going to be a baby born any time soon of if we are still playing the waiting game; Lance is meeting me there today & hasn't been able to be at a doctors appointment in a few weeks so he will get to hear his heartbeat & I just can't wait to see his face when he does!! I am really hoping that this is my last weekly survey & that I will be holding my baby boy in my arms very soon............like later today!!

How far along? 40 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 28 lbs. - not too bad I guess
Maternity clothes? yep
Stretch marks? not that i see but who knows what my stomach will look like once deflated
Sleep: still have no clue what this word means...BUT I have really gotten used to not sleeping so I guess that is a good thing
Best moment this week: Lance laying his head on my stomach & talking to Brayden; it is so sweet to see the man of my dreams in this way.....it brings tears to my eyes just to think about it
Movement: oh yeah.....he loves to beat up his momma
Food cravings: the chocolate craving has returned this past week but thankfully I am still craving the fresh fruit & veggies as well
Gender: BOY
Labor Signs: braxton hicks all day everyday & maybe a few cramps but nothing to make me think the doctor is going to have good news for me today
Belly Button in or out? flat in the morning but as the day goes on & I guess I eat & fill up it tends to poke out
What I miss: the days & weeks back when carrying Brayden was easier & I didn't feel so tired or ready to be (for lack of a better word) "done" carrying him; I just want to be holding him at this point....my body is tired all the time
What I am looking forward to: my 40 week doctors appointment today; Lance is meeting me there & hopefully we will have some good news
Weekly Wisdom: patience is a virtue; I myself can't remember this wisdom but it is good wisdom none the less.
Milestones: I have reached 40 weeks & have enjoyed carrying our baby boy everyday....even if I have complained a bit here in the last week & a half.

What is going on with Brayden during week 40?
The time has finally arrived! You and baby are ready to be a team. The day you two meet will be here in a heartbeat! Your baby weighs about 7.5lb and its total length is 21.5in; from crown to rump baby measures at 37-38cm. Brayden is about as big as its going to get. He now fills your uterus and has very little room to move. Before Brayden is born, bilirubin is transferred easily across the placenta from the uterus to the maternal circulation. Bilirubin is a breakdown product from red blood cells; through this process your body is able to get rid of it from the baby. Once your baby is born and the umbilical cord is clamped, the baby is on its own to handle the bilirubin produced in its own body. Scientists believe once baby is ready to be born, it sends out a series of biochemical and hormonal signals that indicate its time. These cause the mother's body to trigger a series of biochemical and hormonal changes which will ultimately culminate in labor. Brayden is ready to make his grand entrance any time now. All of his organs are fully developed, and he has reflexes and more coordination. Brayden can grasp and hold onto things, turn his head, and respond to outside cues, including the sound of your voice. Most of the lanugo hair has fallen out, but some may still remain on the shoulders, neck, behind the ears and in the deeper folds of the skin. It too will shed in the weeks immediately after birth.

What is going on with ME during week 40?
You are not going to grow much bigger. You feel ready to have your baby, and very soon you shall. After all you can't be pregnant forever. Before you became pregnant your uterus weighed 2 oz and was capable of holding an oz of liquid. Now it weighs over 2lb and can hold a quart of amniotic fluid. Your baby too has grown a lot; from an egg to an 8lb baby. Much of baby's weight gain occurred during the last few months; they double their weight during the last 2-3 months of pregnancy (the final trimester). If your due date has passed and no baby has arrived, you are going to wonder how much longer. The stress and anxiety is going to get to you. Depression is another feeling that's going to set in. If you are not too thrilled with your pregnancy dragging on, here are few tips to help you stay sane:

• Keep yourself busy. Don't be afraid to make plans just because you might go into labor
• Pamper yourself. Enjoy all those indulgences which you won't have time for once baby arrives
• Realize that your doctor cannot pinpoint the exact day and hour of delivery

Thank you for the tips silly website.....I am still working full time so I am staying busy but do you really think that even a full & busy work day means that my mind is not on delivering this beautiful miracle I am carrying in my belly???? Thank again!!

Preppy for Breast Cancer Awareness

I think that this is just wonderful....visit Misadventures of a Newlywed

This week's Preppy Princess Item of the Week is the Scout Original Dean-O Gingham for Breast Cancer Awareness Tote.

At only $32.00, this tote is a steal. Plus 30% of the cost goes to raising money for breast cancer awareness. A cute tote and a great cause! With so many people training for the various breast cancer walks in the fall, this seems like a great gift to honor their participation...or a great tote for yourself to carry your items to the walks!

Breast cancer has touched so many of our lives. It seems only right to give to the cause in any way we can...including through shopping

Weekend Review....

We had a great weekend & the only thing that could have made it better was Brayden's arrival but it seems that the doctor was right last week & he is comfortable in my belly. We have our 40 week appointment tomorrow & I can only hope & pray that there has been some progress made otherwise I see an induction in my future.....we are saying our prayers that Brayden comes on his own though!!

Friday I left work a bit early since I had a headache & was basically over it. I ran to the grocery store & Sam's to get that shopping out of the way so that I could just stay in on Saturday & clean & hopefully get some rest. When I got home from my errands I laid down & was out right when my head hit the pillow. I slept for a good hour & felt so much better when I woke up so I took the pups for their walk & then we just waited for Lance to get home. He got home & he ate some dinner & then it was off to bed.....only to wake up at 4am & not be able to fall back to sleep.

I got up fed the pups, decided that it was too early to walk them so just curled up on the sofa with my blanket & tried to relax......you know being up that early really sucks, there is nothing to do except watch infomercials or read, which I did but all I wanted to do was clean but I couldn't since Lance was still sleeping. I just sat with the pups, read my book & waited for the sun to come up so that I could get Lance up for work....once 7am hit & I got him up the cleaning began....I was a mad woman all day in the house. I got so much done & even ran out to Walmart & Michael's to pick up some much needed scrap booking stuff & a few things for Lance as well. I finally sat down to relax for a bit at 4 but then had to get up & get in the shower so that I would be ready for my dinner date with a really hot & attractive man. Lance & I decided to go to dinner & it was so nice to get out just he & I since we won't have too many nights like that soon. He got home around 6 & brought me a rose...it was so sweet.

However sweet it was, the rose was forgotten & tears ran down my face when I went to put on my rings & couldn't get them over my knuckle....not even with the little bit of force that had worked in the past few weeks. I have been swelling up a bit more lately but have still managed to wear my beautiful engagement & wedding rings.....I was sad to not be able to wear them & still today (2 days later) almost cry when I look down at me ring finger & see them not there.

We then went to dinner at Provino's & I again tried the Eggplant Parmesan old wives tale......IT DIDN'T WORK!! But dinner was nice & then we got home, i took the pups for another walk & then I was out by about 10.

Sunday morning we were up & doing stuff around the house & in the yard around 6:30.....I promise I didn't wake Lance up he got up on his own :) We watered the yard, pooped scooped & sat on the back porch & talked until around 9 & then got dressed & ran our errands. We dropped Bella & Georgia off for their day of beauty, ate breakfast & then had to run to Home Depot & Lowes. Lance loves both of these stores & I swear he could walk around in them all day if I let him. We got a storm door for the front door & also a new sink for the kitchen at Home Depot & then ran to Lowes to price a new door for the back door; we want to get rid of the storm door we have on the back door & replace it with just the heavy duty door & have the doggies door in it so that way the girls can go in & out at any time with out me having to get up & open it for them (we don't feel comfortable leaving the big door open & just having the storm door locked...so we are going to remedy that ASAP!!) We are getting all of this stuff done now because my dad will be here to help Lance do it as of next Monday.

My mom & dad decided to wait until Monday, August 3rd to drive down from VA; they might miss Brayden's birth but this way they will (hopefully) have 2 whole weeks with him. I wanted to be selfish & tell them to just leave today & come so that I could have my mom with me in the delivery room but I guess I have be a good mom for Brayden & let him have his 2 weeks with his Puddy & Grams; I want to make sure that Brayden has as much time with my parents as possible since they live 9 hours away & we can't just jump in the car & visit at any time.

I took some new pictures of Lance & the puppies yesterday too.......enjoy! Georgia & Bella were & will always be our first babies & we just can't wait to meet Baby Brayden......they are going to love him soooo much!

Here are our 2 girls cuddled up together...

Bella & her daddy....her lip gets stuck like that all the time & we think it is the cutest thing ever.

Bella & her daddy....

Bella LOVES beer & always stares at Lance's when he is drinking it.

Georgia Love Goodson.....need I say anything else??

Georgia was our first puppy & she has been a daddy's girl since day 1.

Such a sweet BIG baby; I can just see Lance holding the baby while Georgia is laying on his lap.....I can't wait!

39 Week Belly Pictures...

Well, I was hoping that last week was going to be the last week that I posted my weekly belly pictures BUT no such luck!! Here I am 39 weeks & 5 days along......come on Brayden mommy wants to post pictures of your beautiful little face not you in her belly!!

Finally......It Is Friday!!

I am so ready for this week to be over & to have 2 days to get rejuvenated; I would love to be in the hospital all weekend but I am not going to push Brayden since he is so "comfortable" in there as the doctor stated this past Tuesday. I did go into see the doctor yesterday; my belly was staying tight for 30 minutes at a time & this would happen about 30 minutes apart PLUS I wasn't feeling him moving as much throughout the morning & it scared me so I called them & they told me to come in & we could monitor him. Of course when I go there Brayden showed the doctors his active playful self & made him momma look crazy. I was having contractions but of course nothing timeable or consistent so we wait & see what happens & what they say at my next appointment this coming Tuesday.....MY EDD!! Lance wanted me to have them do an internal but what would the point have been?? I would just wait until Tuesday & hope that there is so kind of good news then.

Because the doctors have said that he is so "comfortable" my mom & dad decided to wait until next Thursday to head down in the hope that we will have something going on after my appointment on Tuesday. They were going to get here on Monday but I put it on my mom to decide if she really wanted to be here for his birth (which is my selfish choice) or use there 2 weeks here & spend them with Brayden after his birth. I think that they made the right choice to wait until we see when he is going to join the outside world, I want Brayden to have as much time with Grams & Puddy as they can since they don't live here & VA is a 8-9 hour drive that Lance & I won't be taking anytime soon. I am sad that my mom won't be in the delivery room with me but the time she & my dad will have with Brayden is better than the time they would spend with a grumpy mom pushing & breathing!!

Dear Brayden,

Mommy & Daddy are ready to meet you anytime that you are ready to meet us. I know that you are having a good time in my belly & I have been so very happy to have had all of this time to spend with you but I don't think that we should be selfish anymore....daddy really wants to hold you too & he is getting so anxious & kind of becoming a pain in mommy's booty about the whole thing.....SO if you could help me out & come soon I would really appreciate it very much. I promise that you will love it out here with your dad & I (& your sisters too, they don't look like you but you will love them non the less). We love you very much & hope to meet you very, very soon.

Love always,
Your Mom

Looking Back On Our Wedding Day....

Kelly over at www.kellyskornerblog.com is hosting a "Show Us Your Wedding Dress" party today. Here are a few pictures from our wonderful wedding day, September 15, 2007 on the beach in VA Beach where I was born & raised.

At Work & Only Slept About An Hour!!

WTF?!?!?! I am so sleepy & not feeling very well; my stomach hurts like I ate something that is not sitting well so with me but I am sure that will pass after I drink my delicious hot tea. I am hoping that today flies by & I can get home & do some much needed cleaning done. I am hating that I am here at work & I have to watch someone else do my job & they just don't do things the right way....I know I need to let go but damn can you at least pretend that you care about what you are doing & want to try to make my return pleasant & not 3 months of cleaning up what you have screwed up...........

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!!

No Progress To Report.....

I felt like a dumb ass yesterday at my appointment; I actually started to cry when she said that there was still no dilation. I don't know what came over me but I just got so overwhelmed by her words; we talked before she actually did the exam & she said that she would strip my membranes if I was dilated so that we could maybe get things headed in the right direction & that got me excited but then she did my internal & no dilation so no membranes were stripped. Then we talked about what we would do if there was still no progress at my 40 appointment next week & she looked at me straight in the face & said that we wouldn't even really worry about doing anything until I was 41 weeks & all I could say was OK......well I got dressed, walked out to the receptionist made my appointment for next Tuesday (my actual due date) & then walked out to call Lance & I just lost it on the phone with him. I was so upset; I am not rushing Brayden but my goodness I am so uncomfortable & so tired since I am only sleeping about 2 solid hours a night..........all my midwife had to say was you had dilated to 1 & I would have been A-OK; all the thoughts of shooting pains & uncomfortable contractions would have faded away & I would have smiled from ear to ear just for 1 tiny cm.

I am happy that Brayden is comfortable & that his little heartbeat is so strong BUT I am ready to deliver, meet & hold him. I told Lance last night that I don't want to talk about it anymore like we have been, I just want to go day to day & when I am having contractions I will let him know & we will go from there; I then of course proceeded to say sorry to him & cry because I was being unreasonable & silly.....I am not even at my due date & I am like this; I am sure that Lance is not looking forward to having to deal with me if I go over our EDD :)

I am still going to continue to do what I have been doing if not more; I have to keep myself busy & preoccupied for the next 7 days & I have actually been really enjoying all the walking that we have been doing SO I am going to try not to think about D-DAY & just stay as busy as possible & hope for the best!!!