Emotions......

Mine are killing me these days!!  I feel like it is B's first Christmas with all of the tears (all happy) that I have shed about the upcoming holiday; I feel like I am bawling more this year than I did last year & I am blaming it on the hormones of course but I really don't think that, that is what it is.

I don't think that I have ever felt so happy, blessed, or complete in my life.  When I was little I of course dreamed of having an amazingly wonderful husband & then of course have children soon there after but that was something that I just thought all women wanted & I thought that I was no different that anyone else.  In wanting all of this I never knew was what an honor it was going to be to be called "wife & mother".  What a great feeling of joy it would be to find the right man & to become his bride.........to take his name & to become Mrs. R. Lance Goodson.  What I never knew was how overwhelmingly wonderful (this isn't even a good enough word to describe how I feel about being a mom) it would be to bare a child with him let alone two.

I love my family more than I could ever put into words & just thank God for honoring me & letting me be a wife & mother to them........all 5 of them (my pups are my babies too).  Don't get me wrong I may have bad days where I have had no sleep or very little sleep & Lance & I may fight or have our moments but that is all they are is moments.............none of these moments can take away from the big picture & grand scheme of our lives.

This Christmas is the 1st of so many that will bring tears to my eyes, that I am sure of!!  Make your holidays & regular days count; make each day that you have with the ones you love count & matter.  Make sure that they know just how much you value & love them...........they are what makes life truly rich & worth it!!

These two are to peas in a pod & I wouldn't have it any other way..........

& this little guy has no idea just how much he is loved already!!!

Emotional Rollercoaster.....

I have had a tearful past few days & really just want my emotions to get under control...I know that won't be happening any time soon but a girl can dream can't she?? Actually I guess I can't even dream if I am not getting any good sleep....I was up a 3am this morning......it is getting earlier & earlier every darn day! I think that everything is finally hitting me about Brayden's birth & my impending motherhood & I am really nervous, scared, excited & so many other emotions & I need Lance to be there for me through all of these emotions & lately he just hasn't been. His work is going through some major crap (he works for Chrysler, so enough said)....but still. I just need him right now & he is not there for me; he didn't even ask about Brayden once yesterday & that really got to me. He asked how I was feeling since I had the worst nights sleep so far the night before but never once asked about his son. I am trying not to over react about the whole situation since I know the stress of his job is really high right now but (especially today) but why is he not doing the same for me?? I know that he can tell that I have been down the past few days but he just can't seem to get over his own inner stress to console his pregnant wife......blah, blah, blah!! Anyway, I am just going to hope that the news announcement from Chrysler today doesn't affect his job & that we can have a great weekend together since he is off Friday, Saturday & Sunday which only happens once a month!!