I felt like a dumb ass yesterday at my appointment; I actually started to cry when she said that there was still no dilation. I don't know what came over me but I just got so overwhelmed by her words; we talked before she actually did the exam & she said that she would strip my membranes if I was dilated so that we could maybe get things headed in the right direction & that got me excited but then she did my internal & no dilation so no membranes were stripped. Then we talked about what we would do if there was still no progress at my 40 appointment next week & she looked at me straight in the face & said that we wouldn't even really worry about doing anything until I was 41 weeks & all I could say was OK......well I got dressed, walked out to the receptionist made my appointment for next Tuesday (my actual due date) & then walked out to call Lance & I just lost it on the phone with him. I was so upset; I am not rushing Brayden but my goodness I am so uncomfortable & so tired since I am only sleeping about 2 solid hours a night..........all my midwife had to say was you had dilated to 1 & I would have been A-OK; all the thoughts of shooting pains & uncomfortable contractions would have faded away & I would have smiled from ear to ear just for 1 tiny cm.
I am happy that Brayden is comfortable & that his little heartbeat is so strong BUT I am ready to deliver, meet & hold him. I told Lance last night that I don't want to talk about it anymore like we have been, I just want to go day to day & when I am having contractions I will let him know & we will go from there; I then of course proceeded to say sorry to him & cry because I was being unreasonable & silly.....I am not even at my due date & I am like this; I am sure that Lance is not looking forward to having to deal with me if I go over our EDD :)
I am still going to continue to do what I have been doing if not more; I have to keep myself busy & preoccupied for the next 7 days & I have actually been really enjoying all the walking that we have been doing SO I am going to try not to think about D-DAY & just stay as busy as possible & hope for the best!!!
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I can only imagine how you feel...sorry sweetie! I was only 36 weeks when I delivered the twins and I was SO uncomfortable so I can imagine how you're feeling by now :( Hang in there...you never know!
ReplyDeleteI'm so uncomfortable and exhausted now and I'm only 34 weeks!! Brayden will come out eventually sweetie... Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that there is still no progress. That is how I was at my 39 week appt. on Monday however since Eli wasn't moving they sent me to get monitored and (Read my blog about what happened) Don't try to rush Brayden, I cried so much because I wanted to keep Eli in there for a little longer but I couldn't , I feel like he was forced out and not really ready to come out. He is so tiny, he is down to 6 lbs 3 oz right now :(
ReplyDeleteYou poor thing! I have never been pregnant, so I don't know exactly what you are going through, but I can imagine! I hope he decides to come soon!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel, I was a wk overdue and I was actually dilated, so being dilated doesn't mean your going to deliver soon. Hang in there, either way you're going to meet your little guy soon.
ReplyDeleteAww I'm sorry you are feeling so discouraged! hang in there, it will be such an awesome reward! Don't feel guilty I think many mommies to be feel the same way at the end.
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