Lance & I could use some prayers & guidance please! We have been struggling with the idea of me quitting work to take care of Brayden; currently I bring him to work with me & it was an ideal situation when he was younger (now that he is almost 4 months he is so old..hahaha) & slept more however now that he is more active & getting older he requires more of my attention....which I of course give him.....BUT that makes me getting my work done very hard. I manage to get it done because I just come in REALLY early in the mornings BUT is that fair to Brayden or to my employer?
Lance & I had talked over our Thanksgiving trip to Virginia about me quitting & decided that we would make our decision by 12/1/09 & we did. We made the decision that I was going to turn in my resignation & I would work until the end of the year & that would be that. We were at peace with our decision & I was excited about the new year with Brayden; I was excited about play groups & week day activities that we would do as well as all the quality time I would get with our little boy. So I talked to one of the owners yesterday morning & she understood; we both cried & I felt this tremendous weight lifted off of my shoulders. BUT THEN, her husband came into my office with her to talk to me about it & when they came in they closed my door & I knew something was about to happen & it did. They have offered to pay for Brayden's day care if I stay; he said they they considered me an intricate part of the company & understood our decision but could we discuss some alternatives. I told him that I would talk to Lance about it because this is a family decision for us.
I called Lance when I left work & now we are stuck on what to do; the money for day care was never the BIG reason why we decided that I would stay home but it was A reason....you know the whole I am only working to pay for day care thing. I make more than day care costs but at the end of the day the amount left over wouldn't be that significant PLUS I wanted to be home with Brayden if at all possible.
Brayden is our pride & joy & I know that people use day cares everyday but I would LOVE to be the one with him all day everyday. I would LOVE to teach, play, cuddle, & love on him all day! I don't want to miss his first anything which I know will happen....it is inevitable that I will miss something but if he is in day care 5 days a week the changes are I will miss his first most everything & I don't want that at all! BUT all of this is what I want & not necessarily what is best for Brayden or our family.
Let's face it the economy sucks & there is no way of telling when it is going to get any better & that scares the crap out of me. what if we become a single income family & something (God forbid) happens to Lance's job? Then what would we do & where would we be? Lance says not to worry about that & he will always be able to find another place to work if that did happen & I know that to be true as well but the what ifs are killing me & driving me crazy.....
I know that Brayden would love "school" because he loves everything, he is such a happy baby & loves people.....I also know that he would thrive & learn so much there BUT I just don't know if I am prepared to be without him Monday - Friday from 6:30am - 4:30pm. That is 10 hours out of the day & by the time we get home at night he will eat, get a bath & go to bed......what kind of relationship will I have with him then??
Lance & I are going to visit the school that was our 1st choice when we were pregnant today just to look again & see what we think. My head knows that there is nothing wrong with day care & that Brayden would thrive, learn & grow well there BUT my heart is pulling at me to just stick with the decision that we had already made! I just don't know what to do & if I could again ask for all your prayers about this & PLEASE if anyone has any words of wisdom I welcome those as well.
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After reading your post I can sense that you already know the answer. You want to be home and you feel it's the right thing to do -so that is what you must do.
ReplyDeleteI've been struggling with the same questions....and I've come to the conclusion that being a mom is the most important thing I will ever do. No job will ever give me the satisfaction I have in knowing that I have a front row seat in every moment of Chloe's life.
Trust your gut on this one and know that there will always be a job for you in the future because you've been a dependable & loyal employee.
wow, that is a toughie hun. i will for sure be keeping you guys in my thoughts and prayers. i hope everything turns out just how you want it to.
ReplyDeletei hope others will have some words of wisdom for you. i'm not a mommy yet so i don't know what i would do if i was in that situation either.
best of luck.
I agree with PP, it sounds like you've already made your decision. I know you'll love being home with your little man!
ReplyDeletep.s. my email is HisLovf@yahoo.com
That is a tough situation, but I agree with everyone else, I think your heart will always be at home with Brayden. I'll definitely say a prayer for you that an answer comes quickly and it gives you peace.
ReplyDeletePS I tagged you on my blog :)
Very tough! I made the decision to stay at home & I'm so happy I did. It's the hardest job to be a SAHM, but I never wanted to miss a thing with Gianna! But if money is an issue than obviously the smart thing to do would be to go with the daycare.
ReplyDeleteI hope you figure it out soon :)
This is a tough one, but I would go with your gut. Monetary compensation to offset B's childcare costs is certainly helpful and shows that your employer really values you. However, the extra money will most likely not satisfy all the other reasons you want to be home with Brayden.
ReplyDeleteI was in the same boat, ready to quit, and I was offered to cut back my hours and work exclusively from home. It's nice to have the opportunity to be with Roscoe every single day, and it's equally nice knowing that I'm still moving forward professionally. The money is nice too.
But if I had to choose between one or the other, I would definitely quit working. It took me weeks spent agonizing over the various permutations of work/home. Ultimately, what helped me was to know that no decision I make is ever final. If at any time you decide that you're ready for a change, be it staying home (in your case) or going back to work, you can change your mind, and pursue a new road.
It sounds like you and Lance concluded that staying home is the right thing for your family right now. It's hard not to want to get ahead when you can, but don't let the extra money sidetrack you from the bigger things in your life right now!
If you're finding it difficult to walk away from the career aspect of who you are, see if they would be willing to negotiate a flexible schedule.
Why not do both? Work part-time and he can be in day-care and then stay at home the rest of the time!
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