Saturday, September 8, 2012

Brayden's Is Starting Pre-School

I am almost in tears as I type this but it is what is best for him!!  I know that most 3 year old children start preschool & it is normal BUT B is starting in the actual school system!!  If you read my blog you probably know that B has been seeing a speech therapist for almost a year now & he was diagnosed with motor planning apraxia  & therefore has had a very difficult time communicating verbally.


Lance & I were concerned for a while when he was younger (1-1.5 years old) because he wasn't babbling or trying to talk to us; he was just mainly pointing to get what he wanted.  We spoke to his peditrition about it & he just told us that sometimes it just takes kids longer to speak & especially boys.  We listened & took what he said as what it was BUT we just knew that something was off.  As he got closer to turning 2 he was still just pointing & at this point he was beginning to throw fits & tantrums all the time.  We thought it was the terrible 2 come early BUT we later learned that he was & still is just very frustrated that we don't know what he is trying to tell us so he wasn't ever really getting what he wanted.  It was becoming harder & harder to get through the days because he was always upset about one thing or another & as a family the tension was becoming very bad.


As a mother I knew something wasn't right so at his 2 year check up we spoke to his doctor again but again we were told that sometimes it takes boys longer to talk................not listening to that this time we started B in speech therapy & eventually he started occupational therapy as well.  He started in October of 2011 & when he was approaching his 3rd birthday they told us that B could get evaluated by the school system for a special needs pre school program.  I was elated to hear that he was possibly going to get more help that speech a half an hour a week & OT for an hour BUT I was saddened too.  I was sad that our little guy was having to struggle so hard to do what came natural to so many other kids around him.


It was quite a process; there was the initial evaluation that B rocked (mommy was a wreck though), then there was the acceptance meeting & then came the IEP (Individualized Education Program) meeting which basically outlined B's personalized plan for the school year.  At each of these meetings I cried & I still cry daily about it.  I love my son & will do anything for him & this is what is going to help him tremendously BUT he is only 3 & he is going to be in the big boy school 5 days a week starting September 17th.  My big boy is really going to be a big boy & as happy as I am, I am also overcome with other emotions as well.


B will attend a county special needs pre-K program 5 days a week...........my 3 year old is starting school 2 years early & this mommy is struggling to wrap my head around that.  He is going to get the speech & OT help that he needs & he is going to get this developmental delay under control ASAP; but he is my baby & I am going to miss him.  I hate that he gets so frustrated so often, I hate that he gets stressed when there are too many people in a room, I hate that he has mini panic attacks for so many reasons, I hate that he looks at me & ou comes some babble & I don't understand him, I hate that at 3 years old he is struggling so hard to just get through the day...............I hate to watch my little guys day to day issue BUT am so happy that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Don't get me wrong he has come leaps & bounds from where he was a year ago & he is conquering new words daily but we are still so far from the "normal" vocabulary & have a lot of work to do.  I am proud of him for trying each & every day & for being such a trooper; he has no idea that I worry so much for & about  him & that I would do anything for him.  He has no idea how much he is loved & I just pray that a year from now all of his stress & frustration is gone & he can be the happy little boy that he wants to be.  It is so hard to watch his smiles turn into fear or frustration so often.  We have a long road ahead of us & I am sure that it is going to have its bump but I really feel in my heart that we are on the right road & heading down the right path!!!