Thursday, November 17, 2011

Speech Therapy & the Word "NO"

In case anyone still reads my blog I thought I would explain why my posts have become short, sweet, boring & loaded with photos............I am slowly but shirley getting caught up on the happenings in the Goodson household but it is taking some time due to the fact that we have started speech therapy with B & it is quite a change for him & us 24/7.  We have been going to his therapist for 5 weeks now, we go twice a week & each session is 30 minutes long but that is only the beginning of what we have been doing.  In each session we work on & I learn new ways to challenge & try to initiate B into talking & I have to do these things day in & out & honestly it has not been easy.  I (Lance too when he is home but with work he's not here all that often when the boys are awake) have been having to change most of B's daily doings with a quickness.  I have had to tell our 2 year old boy that after doing said thing for 2 whole years that he can no longer do it & that he now needs to do it this way & B isn't liking the huge overhaul at all.  I can understand where he is coming from since things that he has done for the last 24 months of his life are now changing in an instant; BUT things have to change for his sake & one day he will realize that I hope!!  The main things that we are working on & learning how to focus, wait, listen to direction & not scream bloody murder when he doesn't get his way..........not too hard right??

In a nutshell we made life easy for B so he never had a need to talk so he just didn't & now that we have started learning the error of our ways & he is hearing "no" a lot more, getting put in the timeout stool & has to at least try to say a word before getting what is is asking for.  I know I should be thankful that the only "issue" he has is the fact the he is hard headed & stubborn (& I really am.......REALLY) since we thought that maybe is the reason he wasn't talking was because he was autistic or something like that BUT this is the hardest thing I have had to do as a mother & most days I feel like a failure.

I feel like this is all my fault & I created this problem & now B is the one suffering for it.  I spoiled him so it is my fault is my basic feeling each & everyday that he looks at me crying & trying to understand why everything has suddenly changed.  I have been told that most children are spoiled but it has no effect or doesn't delay their daily learning BUT B is different he thinks about things in a different way & processes things to his advantage so free play has now become structured & Mickey Mouse, Sesame Street & the Movers have become a thing of the past for the most part.  Structure, Structure, Structure is the way of the Goodson household these days & although it is very hard for B to adjust I see so many positive changes in him & he is starting to talk more too.

My life & every one & thing in it is a blessing.  I hate to admit it but some days I forget that & have to remind myself just how lucky I am to have such an amazingly awesome family.  On the nights (after a very LONG day) when I am feeling defeated & guilty for what I feel is my fault I have started to stare at their monitors & look at their sweet little faces dreaming away & realize I am lucky & we are blessed & this too shall pass & soon enough B will be talking so much that I (& hopefully he) won't even remember just how hard this part of his life was!