Tuesday, July 31, 2012

B is Almost 3.....


This amazing little big guy is going to be 3 whole years old on Friday & as I type this I am in tears.  Brayden is so amazing & wonderful & I am sad that he is growing up so fast.  He is so independent & is coming so far with his speech & communication that it is making it more & more clear as the days pass that he is the sweetest boy in the world.

We have gone through some rough times over the past year with Brayden but I see the light at the end of the tunnel & it is very bright & strong because B is very bright, very strong & so very smart.  His frustrations are lessening & his fits & breakdowns because we just can't figure out what he needs/wants are fewer & fewer.  With the help of his speech & OT therapists he is making great strides with his motor planning dyspraxic & sensory issues!!  We actually have an appointment with the school system here in our county to get Brayden evaluated on August 16th (Lance's birthday) & we are hoping & praying that he gets accepted into the special needs program there so that his developmental delay is a thing of the past & he gets "caught up".  I don't know if I am ready for my baby to start school this early & if he is accepted I am sure that his "first day of school" is going to be a hard one for me BUT as his parents we need & want to do everything in our power to make sure that B has the best & brightest future & that he is not anymore behind speech wise as he gets older!!

I have to admit that when I heard his speech therapist say "special needs program" my heart dropped & it was very hard to swallow for a moment.  For a second or two For a day or two I became very narrow minded & childish & thought my child does not need to be in the special needs class...........he is not "like that".  How awful I felt & still feel for being so (again) narrow minded; what was wrong with me right?  Actually, I felt like she was attacking Brayden at that point in time.  I felt like B was a little kid on the play ground & she had just insulted him using the ever evil "R" word.  I felt like I had somehow let B & my family down for not helping him more at home...........I felt like I had caused this somehow & it was all my fault.  Now I just feel like a complete & udder idiot for thinking all of those things & I really look at myself & say how could you, you know better!!  Special needs children whether they have a small or big issue, delay, disorder or whatever are the same as the rest of the kids they just need a little more love & guidance!!  I should be (& I am) so ashamed of myself for having thoughts like I did that day; maybe it was just a knee jerk reaction to the overwhelming worry that I felt for B but whatever the reason my feelings were wrong!

My sweet big boy has the biggest heart & the sweetest smile & although he is talking more & more each day I am still waiting for him to say "momma.....I Love You" all together in one sentence & without prompting.  I think as a mom you die when you hear those words from your child & I am so excited because I know that hearing those words & feeling all the emotion that comes with hearing them aren't too far off!!

Now I have to get some more work done on his pirate party............I am so far behind on it all!!




2 comments:

  1. happy birthday to your beautiful boy! there are always challenges and rewards....good luck with the party! have fun.
    I am your newest follower from the hop..pls follow back if you can.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you guys! You know we're going through similar challenges with Knox, who also has some sensory issues and something else we're not yet sure of (eval next week! Scary!). I know it's so hard, and I have done the blaming myself game over and over again. It's not your fault, and I'm glad you see that! He is a gorgeous, sweet little boy, and everything is going to work out! Much love to you!

    ReplyDelete