Friday, November 6, 2009

My Body Has Seriously Changed.....

& what if my old body doesn't return?? I know that carrying & creating a child is an honor & a blessing but just let me vent & try not to judge me too harshly.

When I look in the mirror 13 weeks after giving birth to our amazing little man I want to vomit....I hate what I see. I lucked out & didn't get stretch marks but what I did get was a bunch of cottage cheese looking fat cells on my ass & thighs that I just can't seem to get rid of & everyday I swear it is getting worse & not better. I also have this loose skin around my mid-section & yes I know that it is from Brayden growing in my belly but it is really grossing me out. I was also blessed with the worst spider veins all over my spans the whole length of my leg. I am 5 10 & have long legs so the damn thing is long as hell & these things don't EVER go away. Then last night I guess I wanted to torture myself so I tried on my FAVORITE pre-pregnancy jeans & if I pulled tightly they would button but the over hang/muffin tops that were created were the nastiest things that I have ever seen...EVER.

Oh yeah & on top of the fact that I still have 9 pounds to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight I was put on steroids to hopefully help with the vertigo & all they have done is make me hungry all the time. They have done nothing for the dizzy spells & foggy headed feeling I have all day everyday. And when I say hungry I mean starving every second of every minute of every hour in the day. All I want to do is eat & not wonderfully healthy food either....I want every piece of left over Halloween candy that everyone brought to the office to get out of their house, every carb, every gallon of ice cream...every everything!!

I am hoping that all will go back to normal after I am done with the medicine & that I will some how loose the last 9 pounds that I gained......I am hoping that all of this happens before I actually do throw up from the sight of myself....GRRR!!