Let me start this by saying my husband is amazing; he is the most loving, caring & gentle man I have ever known & not only that but he is an unbelievable father to our son & 2 pups! That being said.....more often than not I feel like I am a single working mom & I hate it & even sometimes resent Lance for working so much. I find myself getting mad & frustrated with him for something that neither one of us can control & that is just not healthy for our marriage!
Nothing has changed with Lance's schedule or even with the amount of hours that he works; actually he works less hours where he is now than where he was when we first met HOWEVER our lives have changed & it seems that I have to manage our home all on my own most of the time. This is in no way Lance's fault but I am finding more & more that I am mad at him & don't know how to make myself stop feeling this way. Let me break down my typical day for you:
3:30 - Wake & get ready for work
4:30 - Feed & let dogs out & make B's lunch & bottles for the day (if I didn't make Lance & I's the night before I do ours as well)
5-5:30 - Brayden wakes up STARVING
5:30-6:20 - feed, dress, play with B & then we are out the door by 6:25
6:25 - wake Lance up before we leave (sometimes he gets up with us to play but that depends on how late he worked the night before)
6:30 - drop B off at school & head to work
7-4:15 - WORK, WORK, and WORK (run all errands at lunch)
4:15 - Leave to pick B up
5 - Arrive at B's school & see that smiling little boy & he again amazes me & melts my heart (this is the best part of my day!!)
5:15 - get home & B is STARVING
5:15-7 - Feed, bath, play, read & bottle for B
5:30 - Feed the pups & let them in & out to potty (we don't have a fence YET & putting them on their runners outside is very difficult while keeping an eye on B)
After 7 - Make dinner & lunches for Lance & I, play & love on the pups, clean up the house & laundry, if B's food is low make more (I try to do on Sunday's but sometimes B eats more & we run out), & try to have some ME time......but it never really happens
8:30 to whenever - Wait for Lance to get home to try & spend a few minutes with him before I pass out from exhaustion
After this very long day I am sure that a good nights sleep would probably help me not be so frustrated the next day but B is still not STTN & it has actually gotten worse since the move. He is not waking up really he is just crying until we go in there & give him his binky & then he is peaceful again but only until he realizes that he has lost his binky again........don't get me wrong I don't mind getting up but it just makes for a very tired mom the next day :)
I shouldn't complain really; I have a wonderful life & am blessed in so many ways but sometimes the sleep deprevation & stress get the best of me & I just can't seem to shake the fact that I feel alone but have no time alone........does that even make sence?? This past week has been the worst but only because of the stress of the move, getting settled & organized in the new house & getting the old house ready for the renters to move in tomorrow! I have talked to Lance about how I am feeling & we are going to sit down this weekend & get a schedule worked out for the mornings & days that he is off so that I can try to have a few minutes to myself & hopefully preserve what sanity I have left :)
For those ladies out there that are single moms.......you are amazing & strong women & I am in awww of what you do every day of your lives!!
Song of the Day: I'm Alive - Kenny Chesney with Dave Matthews
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I know the feeling. Being a working mom is like having 2 full time jobs. Sometimes I wish my hubby would come home and say "I will take care of everything" ....that would be wonderful! My hubby likes to put things off..so I might as well do everything myself b/c I can't stand procrastination!
ReplyDeleteYou are NOT alone in this! I loved how you put that you feel alone but you are never alone. I feel the exact same way a lot!! I deal with this on a weekly basis. No matter how great of a partner we have, no matter how great of a dad/husband he is, no matter how great of a baby we have, no matter WHAT, I think that this is an issue with a lot of moms. One thing to be thankful for though (and this helps me a lot) is that even though we feel like we are doing most of the work, we also get the most time with our babies that are our world. Yes, he's at work and you are taking care of everything, but he may be missing out on things with B that you get to be there for because he's at work. That helps me when I feel this way because I'd rather be stressed to the max then miss out on a second of my little girls life!! I don't know if I said that right or if it helps at all, but I know that's what I tell myself and then I kiss my sweet baby girls face! I hope it gets better and I really hope you guys work out a way that you can get more sleep because that is extremely important! If momma is happy, then the whole family is happy! Isn't that the truth????
ReplyDeleteGREAT post Mitzi! Hang in there, continue to count your blessings because in the end, that is what really matters :) Try and work out a day with Lance where he get's a few hours to himself a week, and you get a few hours to yourself a week this means just you time, no errands :) Hehe. Hope the situation gets better soon! :)
ReplyDeleteI feel ya. I feel like a single mom too, which I've said before. Hubbs leaves for school at 5:45/6am & gets home around 7:30ish (right when I'm putting Gigi to bed). If I'm lucky he'll leave the library a little early to play with Gianna for a few minutes!
ReplyDeleteI don't know how single moms do it!
Hang in there dear! The good thing is, is that you have talked to your hubby about it. That in itself says a lot about your marriage!
ReplyDeleteHang in there, and I too can relate! And it's not that Grant is always working late, but it's that sometimes he just isn't sure what to do, and I'm so terrible at giving him tasks that I just end up doing it myself. I drop off and pick up W every day, and I cook dinner, and I get all of our things packed for the next day, as well as, do all the laundry, pump...non-stop, iron, get out clothes for the next day, etc. And sometimes Grant will be just playing with the dog or sitting on the couch, but he just isn't sure what he should do. I wish that I was not so OCD, and I could give him tasks to do. I can't complain though...he is a great dad and spends lots of time with Weston. And he washes the bottles and breast pump shields every day! :)
ReplyDeleteYou are preaching to the choir girl!! My hubby works ALLOT also. He works for a company all day long and 4-5 days a week he is at his shop (he owns a mechanic shop).
ReplyDeleteI have cried and had lots of talks with him about how he's never home. He's gotten much better since we have talked but he is such a goal driven person he likes working and being busy. However he wants to be home with our son as well.
Anyways, I know what you mean about your hubby being a great man but just way to busy.
Now that he knows how your feeling and he wants to work to fix the problem, hopefully things can get better.
Ok, so I don't work, but I still get where you are coming from. My husband works 10-12 hours a day, 5 or 6 days a week and like you, I totally appreciate it, but being with a baby all the time makes me crazy! We have talked about it and usually if he goes to a friends' house or wants to do something else besides hang with us, I have him make sure his mom can watch Cam. That way I get a little alone time too. It saves my sanity!
ReplyDeleteYou get up at 3:30?!?! You are amazing!! We used to have the same problems with Drake not being able to put his paco back in at night and we would be up 3-4 times a night putting it back in. It helps so much when they can do it themselves!!
ReplyDeleteHope you get something figured out with Lance, it sounds like you need a break!!
I understand this and it is sooo hard, i call myself a part-time single mom. Robert generally works all day, and when i say all day i mean from like 6-8am til 1-3am. He builds stages for concerts and events.. And I am a full-time student along with a part-time waitress. I love when he is home so I can have some me time, but mostly.. Its just me being a mom by myself. its hard, but you can do it! and its worth it - just look at your beautiful son!
ReplyDeleteBig hugs to you sweetie. It's HARD and it really sounds like you have a jam-packed day. I know that being with the baby all day can definitely be stressful, on top of the fact that you're working & taking care of your home. Are you able to get a sitter for a few hours while you & dh go out to dinner? We try to make time for this once or twice a month. It isn't always easy to find someone for the weekends b/c people have their own lives, but when we do manage to find someone, we take the time to enjoy eachother without the babies. Good luck & give your little cutie a big squeeze. xo
ReplyDeleteI hear you on that one! Sleep deprivation is awful. It can make a person crazy. The hardest part for me, when I am so tired, is not wanting to slack at work, and not wanting to give my all to the baby when I get home from work. It's really hard...It'll only get easier as he gets older though...
ReplyDeleteI've been coming across a lot of women who are in the same boat including myself. My hubby works a lot and once a month he's on call and that mean I don't see him very much that week. I don't get up at 3:30, but I do get up to pump. LC does not STTN either so I hear you on that. It's exhausting!!! My toughest time during the day is when I'm home at the end of the day, cooking dinner, feeding LC & doing homework all at the same time. LC eats first because just like B, LC is starving when we get home. Son, Daughter and I will sit around 7:30-7:45 to eat dinner. Hubby is rarely home until after 8 and by then everything is done.
ReplyDeleteI was once a single working/going to school mom and it was hard!
I applaud you and every mom out there, weather single, working or going to school for doing the absolute best!
Hang in there and tons of {{{hugs}}} to you.