Tuesday, April 7, 2009

24 Weeks Today; Last Week of Being A Papaya....

Today is my "V Day" & I couldn't be happier; I know that our little lovebug is safe in there but just knowing that if (God Forbid) something did happen Brayden would be alright. I am having all these thoughts about what he is going to look like & if he will have my nose or Lance's...will he be tall like his momma (5 10.5) or not so tall like his pops (5 7).....will he have my hair & skin tone or will he get Lance's (keeping my fingers crossed for Lance's). I get so excited & nervous all at the same time it is the greatest feeling ever.

Then there are those times when I feel like a horrible mother already; I know that I am going to gain weight & I know that the stress on my veins & body will cause things like spider veins & stretch marks but is it bad that I look over my legs, belly, boobs....basically my whole body every morning & night to see if I have more spider veins or if I have any stretch marks yet & when I see that I do have more spider veins (no stretch marks yet, but I am sure that they are coming) I get upset & yesterday even cried? Everything that my body is going through is worth it because of the gift that we will receive when it is all said & done but I mean really my legs aren't going to need a tan this summer they are going to be reddish purple from all the damn spider veins that are popping up. I cried last night because we are heading to the beach for a babymoon Wednesday of this week & finding a bathing suit was hard enough but knowing that people are now going to see me in it upset me to the point of tears. I should not feel this way I know but I do & I can't make the feelings go away......maybe once I actually get some sun on my really pale pregnant body it won't be so bad...RIGHT??

Although I am dreading the first time I am seen in my bathing suit; I am very excited about getting away for an extended weekend. We are leaving on Wednesday for SC & just can't wait to leave all of our stresses in GA. While we are gone Brayden's room, the hallway, & our spare bathroom are going to get painted so it will be nice to return to all of that being completed!! I want all the rooms to be done but mainly Brayden's room; this way when we get back Lance can put together his crib & glider that are both still in the boxes. It is all coming together & I couldn't be more ecstatic about everything.