Monday, June 15, 2009

Weekend Review.....

So Friday started off as a normal day until....I started noticing that I was having quite a few contractions. I got on contractionmaster.com & started to track them & I had 8 in that hour so I called the doctor & had to go in & get checked. They hooked me up to the monitor & of course Baby Brayden didn't like that at all & kicked the monitor for the first 5 minutes but I guess he realized that they weren't going to move it so he stopped!! His heart rate & movements were awesome so no worries about him at all & according to the contraction monitor I wasn't having any either but I kept telling the nurse that I could feel them so how was that possible & she said we will just keep watching. Well about an hour later I had to pee so I got up & went & when I got back & got hooked up again they they were.....the damn nurse didn't have the stupid monitor on my stomach right so it wasn't tracking them so needless to say I just wasted an hour sitting there!! Anyway, the doctor came in & saw the contractions & decided to give me the shot of turbutiline again to stop them & then continue monitoring me; she also checked my cervix & I was not dilated but there was blood so she says that the contractions were working towards getting my cervix ready to start dilating. After the shot & about another hour of monitoring I got a prescription for the turbutiline & got to go home....thank god!! I was at the doctor's office for about 3 hours & I couldn't get cell service so Lance was freaking out for a while until I noticed there was a phone in the room & called him. He was working & as much as I wanted him there I told him not to worry & just to work & I would call him with any updates.

Once I picked up my pills I got in the car & headed home....& of course had to sit in traffic because of the time of day it was & that would have been fine but the turbutiline shot makes me feel really shaky & crappy so I wasn't in the mood to be sitting in the car at all! I got home, changed clothes, called Lance & laid down on the sofa only to not be able to sleep because my heart was still racing from that damn shot. I know that the medicine helps stop the contractions but holy hell does it do a number on me. I laid there for a while & then decided to eat something & then lay back down......I think that I dozed off for a while but woke up to Lance calling to check on me, he was on his way home & I couldn't wait to see him!! Then I remembered that I needed to take my medicine (I have to take it every 4-6 hours) & although I dreaded it I took it & again with the racing heart & shakiness. Lance got home, sat & held me for what seemed like forever & it was so nice & just made me fell so much better; he could feel me shaking though & just looked at me with this hurt in his eyes because there was nothing he could do to help me. He went outside & checked on the work that was done on the patio to complete it & finally smiled when he walked out there. That damn patio has been bothering him since we had it put up over 2 months ago; it was completed the way that he imagined so FINALLY it was done perfectly & now he just has to paint it put the furniture back out there & we can sit out there...relax & enjoy it!!

Friday night I couldn't sleep because of the turbutiline & also because when I finally would fall asleep I would have the worst nightmares ever so I laid on the sofa & watched TV falling asleep for an hour here & there but not really getting any good sleep at all. So needless to say Saturday I was down & out for most of the day; I ran to the store so that we would have food to eat but that was about it for most of the day. I finally decided to not take the pill I was supposed to take at 3 & finally fell asleep for a good 3 hours & felt so much better when I woke up. I woke up cleaned a bit, took a shower & felt like a new person after getting dressed. I just sat on the sofa & waited to Lance to get home & once he did went got out of the house for a bit & went to Longhorn for dinner. I told him that I couldn't handle that medicine & that I would talk to the doctor about the fact that I was not going to take it at our appt. on Monday.......he said that if I started to have a bunch of contractions then I could take it then!! I feel like a bad mother for not taking it but the doctor said that it could have this effect on me & if it did then not taking it would be alright & we would just see how I was doing on Monday afternoon so that it what I decided to do.

At dinner Lance & I started to talk about Brayden & the fact that he seems like he is ready to meet us before his due date & he then began to tell me how scared & unprepared he feels to be a father. He is so afraid that he is not going to be a good dad since he hasn't been a "good" husband to me lately & I was shocked. I told him that just because his choices & actions in the past few weeks hadn't been the best for our family didn't make him a bad husband; he is a great & wonderful man & I wouldn't have married him if I thought otherwise!! We finished our dinner went home & I fell asleep about 30 minutes after me butt hit the sofa.

Yesterday we decided to go up to the lake as planned with Lance's brother & his 2 kids; the kids had been so excited about going up there & I didn't want to disappoint them. The lake was a lot of fun & it is so awesome to see them have such a good time....plus it made me think of little Brayden playing in the water in a few years!! We didn't stay up there long at all; I couldn't handle the heat for too long so we were home & I was on the sofa & sleeping again that afternoon about 3:30. I woke up only because Lance kissed my head to tell me he was going to run to blockbuster & the grocery store to get us dinner. He got home made dinner & I was out again about 8. He woke me up at 10 to get into bed & I had a headache & for some reason I still have it....what a weekend, I feel like I didn't get to rest at all & that is really all I did.

I have my doctor's appointment today at 4:30 & am so happy that Lance gets to go with me & voice his concerns to the doctor as well. I know that 34 weeks (I will be tomorrow) is to early for Brayden to come but why are they not concerned with him possibly coming early at all. I know that I have not dilated at all but since I have contractions constantly shouldn't they consider the fact that maybe Brayden is going to make early appearance & start giving me steroids for his lungs just in case? They have not said anything about bed rest or changing anything I am doing but they don't know why I am having contractions like this either..........we have a whole list of questions to ask the doctors today & hopefully when I get checked I have not progressed at all & everything will be fine with both Brayden & I.

Sorry for rambling on but I have the worst headache & feel really yucky so can't really put the words together any better than this! Keep your fingers crossed & say a prayer for Brayden, Lance & I.