Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Taking A Day To Rest & Regroup

I had such a hard time with the no progress news that we got yesterday so I decided that I needed a day to myself....I am at home today & think it is the best think for Brayden & I. I am a workaholic to say the least & the doctor mentioned that I could be working myself to the point of exhaustion between working 12 hour days, the fact that I don't sleep more than 5 hours a night (even before I was pregnant, now that I am I only sleep about 1-2), taking care of the hubby, house & pups, walking twice a day to try & get Brayden to progress & just the fact that my body has created & sustained another human being for the last 40 weeks & 1 day is a lot for one person even me who thinks that she can do it all. In case you couldn't tell I am a planner, the organizer of life the woman that has to make sure that everything happens just the way it is supposed too & last night I had to take a deep breath & realize that this is one thing that I don't get to control or plan out perfectly.

Our amazing boy is going to enter the world when he & God say it is time NOT mommy & daddy. Brayden is going to live his life to the fullest & we are just going to be able to watch him grow & lead him down the right paths.....what happens down those paths is going to be wonderful & life changing I am sure but we have to realize that WE CAN'T CONTROL EVERYTHING! Brayden is going to have his own personality & way bout him & we are just going to have to sit back & enjoy the ride! I can't wait to be a mom & see my son grow into he chooses to be; it is going to be an amazing journey & Lance & I are truly blessed!!

I do want to point one thing out though.....I was born exactly on my due date so from the beginning I was a control freak & so I don't think I can be blamed for wanting Brayden to be punctual like his momma! Lance on the other hand was 2 weeks late & didn't want to leave his mothers womb either & all I can say about that is if Brayden loves me the way that Lance loves his mother than I have a great future ahead of me with my son!!!